"Shame dies when stories are
told in safe places."
- Ann Voskamp
Why do I do this work?
In the spring of 2022, I participated in something called The Story Workshop, an online course with small group work offered through The Allender Center at the Seattle School of Psychology and Theology. It was the beginning of quite the intense trip back through my life and story. A trip that was both painful and amazing, and one I am forever grateful for. My small group leaders and the other participants helped me remember my story more truthfully and more accurately (without judgment), stayed with me through the grief, the shame, the anger, and the moments my heart didn’t think it could bear. They cried with me, got angry for me, and fought for me. They were kind to me when I couldn’t be kind to myself. They said a blessing over me as we were closing our weekend together, after I had shared my desire to help other women who are not living wholeheartedly. One of my leaders said, “Go out from here holding both a sword and a tissue.” The sword was referring to the spiritual war I would continue to fight on behalf of myself and others. The tissue referred to the deep and profound grief I would walk through, hold, and feel on behalf of myself and others. Thank you Mary Ellen Owen and Suz Harvey. Thank you Dr. Dan Allender.
You’ve given me the gift of being able to kindly name the truth of my story, to remember God’s faithfulness through all parts of my story (He was there in the darkness with me all along), to experience His love for me in the darkest pit of shame, and providing me with the tools to help others to do the same. God has birthed a passion in my heart to enter the war to fight for other women to live with whole and free hearts and bodies. May none of the trauma and heartache we go through ever be wasted. You matter so much to God and you matter to me.
My life was filled with a lot of shame until about five years ago. Shame causes us to hide. It causes condemning thoughts and we believe there is something deeply wrong with us. Shame settles deep into our stories and the stories we tell ourselves about our lives. It corrupts our relationships, disconnects and isolates us, and steals our joy. Shame (from trauma in our stories) actually causes fragmentation (or dividedness) in our minds, hearts, souls, and bodies. We become disconnected from God and from other people. It prevents us from living wholeheartedly.
With shame, it’s like we are frozen. We are locked up in our hearts and unable to respond. And often, Jesus sends other people into our lives to help in the rescue plan. He sends someone who loves us enough to sit with us in our story of shame and who stays with us no matter how bad it gets. I would love to be that person for other women. I would love to be that person for you. I want you to find freedom, healing, life, and joy… so you can go do what God has prepared for you to do. Our hearts and stories will not be perfectly whole until Jesus returns and makes everything right and restored to the way it was meant to be. But we CAN move closer to wholeheartedness here on earth, right now. I love this quote from John Eldredge and it gives me a lot of hope until that day comes…
One day, God will shine His light on our full and complete story, and fill in all the gaps and pieces that trauma has broken. You probably have many stories you’d like to see told rightly, just as I do.
Until then, may we pursue wholeheartedness with everything we have,
​
Tammy
Tammy’s Credentials:
Registered Nurse - RN - Purdue University
Certified Trauma Recovery Coach - International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaches
Life Coach Certification - Light University
Certificate in Narrative Focused Trauma Care, Level 1, The Allender Center at the Seattle School of Psychology and Theology
Certificate in Biblical (lay) Counseling - Light University
Certificate in Grief and Loss - Light University
Deeper Walk Certificate - Deeper Walk International